Twisted wish

The rules of this are that one person is to make a wish. The person who posts after it grants said wish, but distorts it in a horrible, evil way. Once you grant a wish you then make a wish to be granted by the next person.

Note:
You can't grant your own wish you must wait for another person.
You must grant a wish before you can make one.
Try to be creative and witty. Do not just say "and it kills you". Suffering usually works best.
Keep the wishes simple, don't try making them untwist-able that is no fun.

Example:
Person 1: I wish for a pet parrot.
Person 2: Granted, said parrot never shuts up and annoys you daily.
I wish for a balloon...

and that is how it goes.
Any breaking of the rules will summon the wraith of Nothing5505.

I'll start

I wish for a new Xbox 360

Granted, Xbox 360 overheated too many times and it shut down constantly. Over time, with your frustrated gamer self, you attempted to keep playing, and it ended up exploding, shards of the plastic going everywhere, cutting you badly and the TV, to which the wires caught on fire, and your weak self with major blood loss, your slow self attempted to put out the fire, but you kept loosing too much blood. Your house slowly burnt down when you lost consciousness. Your mother/father/any other person returned him to find your body drained of blood and burnt with the rest of the house. You were never able to make it out.

I wish for a kitty! :3

The kitty is cute for a week, until it grows and you realize it is the rare mutant cat of the jungle. You try to run and, needless to say, the merciless cat rips you to shreds.
On that happy note, I shall wish for a cruise ship vacation.

Granted. but It goes down in the middle of the sea. You survive and swim in the cold cold ocean looking for help. You find it in the shape of a shark.

I wish for the total destruction of humans     

Granted. But you are a human as well. Total destruction of humans = equals total destruction of you too.

I wish for...a sandwich! -insert Jake face here-

granted, however, your waiter or waitress who prepared that sandwich for you absolutely despises you. she/he hated the way you ordered, hated the way you looked, and hated you in general. with a giggle, he/she proceeds to spread poison onto your sandwhich. for good measure, he/she spits onto your sandwhich, rubbing it in with their unwashed hands. they give it to you, and you're blown away by how delicious the sandwich looks. after one bite... well, let's just say, i hope your parents weren't too attached.

i wish for a toilet

Granted. But the toilet sucks you in upon flushing it, and you go through various torture chambers in the pipes. All the while, you're dying for a breath of air...literally. You try to swim back, but it's just too much. The toilet monster got you.
(idkimsrryxD)

I wish for a trip to a haunted castle.

Granted. Unfortunately when you get there you find it's not really haunted.

I wish for a lost thing finder